The Peanut Butter

O.K. I guess its time to talk peanut butter.  How do you like yours? I prefer mine creamy.  I fact I love peanut butter. I could probably live off it.. So here is how the story goes. When I got married I wanted to be the perfect wife, do all the things a good wife would do, you know, cook clean, take care of all the household things.  I stared off by grocery shopping, first mistake.. how dare I assume what all foods we need to have.  Well it didn't take long for me to be told how terrible I had done.  First and foremost I had gotten the wrong peanut butter!!! WE DO NOT EAT CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER!! We eat crunchy... only crunchy...note to self we eat crunchy peanut butter not creamy... badly done Hannah, badly done. so for the next several years I ate crunchy peanut butter and told myself I loved it.

The beginning

Before I go any further in this story I should give some background, help you understand why I was so shocked he was accusing me of cheating on him. Our story goes way back to the late 1990's when I was 18 years old. He had been waiting for this day seeing as he was in his 40's. At whatever point he decided he was interested in me he set out to make sure I liked him..his words, not mine. If you want my opinion on the matter he set out to  manipulate me, which is exactly what he did. I was very innocent, very sheltered growing up. I had been raised in a strict Christian family (which I do truly  appreciate) he saw me as someone he could mold, someone he could control. He difined what was right and wrong, and because he knew I valued the headship role of the husband he difined what headship "really" meant. Which is why as you will find out later this blog is called the peanut butter blog. Anyway I'm off subject..again. So when I was 20 years old we went to go apply for a marriage  license. That was the day I found out he had not been married twice before but three times. So  evidently I knew about the first and third, should've been a clue this was about to go south fast! On our honeymoon I found out he doesn't make a move without a drink in his hand. With-in the first couple of weeks I discovered his temper, and that our lives would revolve around him and keeping him happy. The first weekend after we were married would define the next ten years of my life. After we got married we lived two hours south were he had gotten a job. That first weekend we went back to our home town where he continued to have a small side job, we had just planned on spending the day, but for some reason he decided we needed to stay the entire weekend. Which as everything else in our marriage turned into a  fiasco. It's kind of hard to put into words but he although the one who "needed" to stay made a huge deal out it because we didn't have any of our things, which then turned into me saying lets just go buy what we need, and then somewhere in his mind since I solved that problem we were staying because of me not him. This weekend became the habit of almost every weekend to follow for the next ten years. We would drive up, he drop me off at my parents home and leave, for the first few years he'd come bac usally super late or even early morning hours, leave the next day then at some point late that evening call me and say I'll be there in five minutes be ready to go. When my parents got sick of his behavior and brought it to his attention he quite staying there at all. At first because I thought we should be staying together we tried staying at his folks place for awhile. That didn't last, my guess is it would be way to weird for him to drop me (and by this time our two children) off and take off again. So for awhile he'd leave me at my parents house waiting for him to come get us to go sleep at his parents (that was fun let me tell you dragging to babies out at all hours of the night). So finally and much to his pleasure I'm sure I said I would just stay with my parents and he could do his own thing. Worked out great for him, he got go do his own thing all the while still look like the innocent one because I "wouldn't" stay with him and he wasn't allowed to stay at my parents home. Pretty sweet deal for him...he got to go do as he pleased while I was being babysit by my folks. Now you may wonder why I didn't just stay at my home? Well I would have and he always said I could. But then if I tried guess what? He would turn it into a huge fiasco and I'd end up aty parents house...being babysit.
So here is the ground work for my opening blog. Next time I blog I'll discus peanut butter.

August 2011:  I sat at my kitchen table...I was checking my email ....we had just spent the day at a theme park that we had season tickets to. Earlier in the week I had asked him to take me to watch some friends play music. He made some comment about how he didn't  realize what they did was music.  I had asked him if I could go since he didn't want to. He said no. It was ok I'd stay home, get some work done. I'd just checked my email, nothing important, I signed out. He walked in the room, told me " open your email" I asked why? He said "I want to see who you are going see."

Really!?!?